Can I ask you a question? A real question that at first you might
just slough off, but I would like you to take the time to think about
it. Do you think you are better than other people because of the
country you live in? Really think about that. Here is another
question. Do you think you are better than other people because of
your religious or non-religious affiliation? Are you better than
people because of your race? Your looks? Your skills and abilities?
Your income? Your youth? Your gender? What you own? What you don't
own? Your political party? Your friends? Your family? Is there
anything you can think of that separates you from other people that
somehow makes you think you are better?
If we are honest, there is always something. For me, I know I
tend to think that my association with a democratic country makes me
better. Also (and this is painful to say) being a Christian has at
times given me a serious superiority complex. If you are reading this
and you are not a Christian, maybe you are thinking, “Yep, that's
what religious people do! They all think they're better than everyone
else for their beliefs.” In which case I would ask you to do some
self-examination regarding that very thought.
There is a need in the human psyche to draw these lines. To build
ourselves up because of our affiliation to groups. Part of that
building up process involves tearing other groups down. When I think
about something like sports I can sometimes be confused as to why
people get so into it. It is just a group of people who are put
together to win at some competition that really means nothing at all.
So what is the appeal? It doesn't take long to see that this isn't
about the sport itself generally, but the inner ego of the fan. When
“their” team wins then they feel better about themselves for
being associated with that team. In the Olympics we somehow attribute
the skill levels of a few people in our country to the value of our
nation as a whole and everyone in it. And I personally find it
scary.
But I'm not writing this to talk to you all about my
opinions on sports. I am writing this to people who somehow feel that
being a bigot is something they are entitled to. And do you know what
has really set me off? Christians responding to Isis.
Now your mind might first go to the
bigots that you perhaps feel make up Isis. After all, they're the
ones going around performing acts of genocide against Christians and
ethnic minorities. I would like to affirm that I do not wish to
belittle those acts whatsoever. They are horrific and barbaric. Are
they acts that are taught in the Qu'ran? To the outsider it certainly
appears that way (though many Muslims will tell you that this is up
to theological interpretation). But it is not the bigotry that makes
up Isis that has really gotten under my skin.
I am maddened by
the hypocritical bigotry that Christians are taking part in
shamelessly. Somehow I have basically seen Christians portray this
message across Facebook in the past few weeks: Muslims are all evil.
Done. Doesn't that feel good to demonize them all?! They're all a
bunch of terrorists just waiting to perform acts of Jihad. Maybe we
should tell them to get out of Canada which is “ours.” Because
we've been here forever, haven't we?
Let us apply that logic
elsewhere now. Americans. Yep. Let's go there. They have a large army
and no gun control. You know what that means, right? They're all
hateful puppets of their government who think the only solution to
any problem is to shoot and kill people.
Now men. This is an easy
one. As we all know, men are responsible for the vast majority of
rapes in the world. They also perform violent crimes far more than
women. This is because all men are driven by sexual motives and could
snap on women at any time as a way of demonstrating their power of
the “weaker” sex.
Christians. Famous among those who are not
Christians for being holier-than-thou rule-imposers whose goal in
life is to see the unholy people of the world damned to hell
immediately. We push our faith down people's throats and hate gay
people.
Wait. That last one was a little too close to home maybe.
I know plenty of people who are okay hating Muslims. I know plenty of
people outside of the USA who take pride in hating those within it. I
even know women who feel that bigotry towards men is justified in
light of the bigotry that women have experienced from men over the
centuries. But we know better when it comes to Christians, don't we?
We're not all bigots. Yes, there are a few Christian bigots who hate
instead of love as they go about their “holy” crusades, but the
Christians I know aren't bigots! Are they?
Somehow we have
forgotten something in the church. Not all of us, but some of us
have. And that is that there is no more “us” and “them”
(Galatians 3:28). This is not about sweeping statements about
specific groups of people! It is about sweeping statements about
humanity as a whole. There are people out there who are far more prone to hate because of the culture that surrounds them. Look at countries riddled with civil war for generations. Children growing up there have a different way of thinking than people who grow up in peaceful nations. Islam is a religion that does not promote love, and so we see extremist groups and individuals coming out of it. But none of us, no matter who we are, can escape the thoughts
of hate that we are predisposed towards. We all have them to some degree. Looking at the crusades do we determine that war is a Christian doctrine? No. Hate is a human characteristic and anyone
of any belief is capable of taking part in it. People with Christian affiliation have done it in the past. Non-religious people have done it in communist countries. Isis is doing it today. And that was why Jesus
came. To show us another way. To love us in a crazy and all-consuming
way that shows us the stupidity of our inherent hate for other people.
If God
can love the lowest of the low, yes, even forgive the very people who crucified him, then we should too. Let us not forget
that the whole of humanity does not deserve God's grace, and that
includes you and me. But God in his infinite and boundless love chose
to give grace freely so that all
would be saved (John 3:16), not just the ones that are easy to get along with or who we feel are like us.
God loves the members of Isis who are out beheading children for the
sake of promoting hate. Yes. He even loves them.
So before you
post, comment on, or even read another article about how evil Islam
is, take a moment and remember that evil is in all of us. Some of us
have had the joy of seeing our propensities to hate changed through Christ. But for those who haven't, well, we have the joyful task of inviting them to
have Christ change their hate into love too, and not damning them for it for not yet being "one of us."
Friday, 24 October 2014
Monday, 12 May 2014
Self-denial
Is saying 'no' to good things a good idea?
My walk with Christ has been changing. You see, all of us have things in our lives that we don't like. Things that we know are getting in the way of our relationship with God.
When I was a child, I used to dream that one day I would be a strong Christian. I saw Godly people speak and live their lives for Christ, and all I could think was that one day I wanted to be like that. But I thought it would never be possible.
But how foolish it is to dream that one day we will be who God wants us to be. How absurd to think that in the future we will have conquered that sin that plagues us. How silly it is to dream of who I might be one day if I am not taking steps NOW to BE that person. The Holy Spirit is here now, he's empowering us NOW!
Self discipline has all but disappeared in the church. We are so scared of stepping into legalism that we avoid taking action against our sin by taking drastic steps to grab it by the horns and uproot it from our lives!
K. P. Yohannan expressed it nicely in a sermon I listen to often (get ready for a long quote)
“But I'm here to tell you that the call of Christ is not just to be informed, but to do something about it. I mean, you are bombarded with information. You get enough spiritual information in one week that people in India and China don't get in 5 years! How blessed we are! But let's not fool ourselves...that doesn't mean we are impacting the world. But how we need to realize that we are headed toward eternity and that is not a thousand miles away from now, it is the next minute. And Jesus lived like that... The reason why we in America with all the teaching, all the music, all the stuff going on, our lives are shallow. Still struggling with sin, and struggling in our private thought life with things we know are not pleasing to God. And the lack of victory in your life. Lack of authority of God in your life. Seeking to please man rather than God...Why is it? Why is it? It is simply because we do not want to accept the cross of Christ into our lives. Cross means self-denial. Giving up our own wishes and dreams for the sake of the cross, for the sake of Calvary. And that's what we are missing here! That is the reason with all the stuff we miss so much of reality! When will we learn?! What does it take for us to learn?! The call of Christ for us is, As the Father has sent me, so send I you... The call of Christ is to DIE not to LIVE! You must, by the grace of God make a decision. “Lord, I want approval from you and no one else.” So much of Christian work originates in the flesh and carnality. I know, those are strong words. Unless you are sensitive to the Lord, you can easily misunderstand. We have a problem in America, in our church. We misunderstand obedience for legalism and bondage. I am telling you. I am telling you. The day is soon coming when you will regret and repent. Too late it will be over the debased life we spent for ourselves here. The world out there, they do not know Jesus. And our priority number one. Number one must be “Lord, I love you, and as a result of that I give ALL to touch the lost world!””
There is so much meat in his words that we can so easily just skim over because we have heard it before. But have you allowed the truth of the cross of Christ to sink into your heart? You see, there will come a day when all of humanity will stand before Christ and have to give an account for how they lived their lives. Sure, you have every right to spend your life working to get ahead, finding a significant other and building a family, going on vacations and achieving your dream home, saving for retirement and crossing things off your bucket list.
BUT THESE THINGS HAVE NO VALUE WHEN WE STAND BEFORE GOD!
There are billions of people heading towards eternity in hell and we act as though we are living in a video game. There is no do-over, people! We have but one life!
Only one life, 'twill soon be past.
Only what's done for Christ will last.
So is the practice of saying 'no' to things, even good things, a good idea?
If it brings glory to God, YOU BET IT IS!
In my own life I am growing horrible uncomfortable with the way I spend my time, my finances, and my talents. So much of it is in vain. So much of it reflects a heart that is living in an earthly kingdom and that is totally blind to the heavenly one I claim to be a citizen of.
Imagine what the church in the west could do if it spent as much money as it spends on vacations, cars, gadgets, houses, and clothing on the mission of God instead. On caring for the poor. On supporting missions and missionaries.
Have you thought about the possibility of God calling you to reach the lost in another part of the world? Or have you written it off as uncomfortable? Maybe you think you are in no place to serve God in that capacity because of your job, your family, or your lack of Bible knowledge. But should those things really be what holds us back?
I'll say it again
Only one life, 'twill soon be past
Only what's done for Christ will last.
How do you use your finances? How do you use your talents? How do you spend your time? How are you edifying the church? How are you telling others about the hope they can have in Christ? I am asking myself the same questions and finding I come up drastically short.
Lately I have been adopting the practice of self-denial for the sake of glorifying God and I am amazed at the way God has been moving in me.
I just came off of over 40 days of only eating fruits and vegetables in order to work on self control and only wearing sweat pants and three t-shirts in order to work on vanity. I don't say this to bring glory to me. I say it to encourage you all. I AM CHANGED! God re-wired my head. I loved the intimacy with God so much that I am beginning the next 'no.' This needs to become a regular practice in my life. Where are the things standing between me and God right now? How can I discipline myself to change those things right now? Even if the thing that gets between you and God is a 'good' thing, if it is stopping you from being who God wants you to be or causing you to sin, it is better to cut it off than for it to drag you into hell (Matthew 5:29-30).
I know that some people may view these words as condemning, but that is not my objective. I pray that these words bring Godly conviction through the Holy Spirit. Not just for you but for me. We are blind! We are so absorbed by the surrounding culture that we have made it theology! I need to wake up. We need to wake up.
“We misunderstand obedience for legalism and bondage. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. The day is still coming when you will regret and repent. Too late it will be over the debased life we spent for ourselves here. The world out there, they do not know Jesus. And our priority number one. Number one must be “Lord, I love you, and as a result of that I give ALL to touch the lost world!””
My walk with Christ has been changing. You see, all of us have things in our lives that we don't like. Things that we know are getting in the way of our relationship with God.
When I was a child, I used to dream that one day I would be a strong Christian. I saw Godly people speak and live their lives for Christ, and all I could think was that one day I wanted to be like that. But I thought it would never be possible.
But how foolish it is to dream that one day we will be who God wants us to be. How absurd to think that in the future we will have conquered that sin that plagues us. How silly it is to dream of who I might be one day if I am not taking steps NOW to BE that person. The Holy Spirit is here now, he's empowering us NOW!
Self discipline has all but disappeared in the church. We are so scared of stepping into legalism that we avoid taking action against our sin by taking drastic steps to grab it by the horns and uproot it from our lives!
K. P. Yohannan expressed it nicely in a sermon I listen to often (get ready for a long quote)
“But I'm here to tell you that the call of Christ is not just to be informed, but to do something about it. I mean, you are bombarded with information. You get enough spiritual information in one week that people in India and China don't get in 5 years! How blessed we are! But let's not fool ourselves...that doesn't mean we are impacting the world. But how we need to realize that we are headed toward eternity and that is not a thousand miles away from now, it is the next minute. And Jesus lived like that... The reason why we in America with all the teaching, all the music, all the stuff going on, our lives are shallow. Still struggling with sin, and struggling in our private thought life with things we know are not pleasing to God. And the lack of victory in your life. Lack of authority of God in your life. Seeking to please man rather than God...Why is it? Why is it? It is simply because we do not want to accept the cross of Christ into our lives. Cross means self-denial. Giving up our own wishes and dreams for the sake of the cross, for the sake of Calvary. And that's what we are missing here! That is the reason with all the stuff we miss so much of reality! When will we learn?! What does it take for us to learn?! The call of Christ for us is, As the Father has sent me, so send I you... The call of Christ is to DIE not to LIVE! You must, by the grace of God make a decision. “Lord, I want approval from you and no one else.” So much of Christian work originates in the flesh and carnality. I know, those are strong words. Unless you are sensitive to the Lord, you can easily misunderstand. We have a problem in America, in our church. We misunderstand obedience for legalism and bondage. I am telling you. I am telling you. The day is soon coming when you will regret and repent. Too late it will be over the debased life we spent for ourselves here. The world out there, they do not know Jesus. And our priority number one. Number one must be “Lord, I love you, and as a result of that I give ALL to touch the lost world!””
There is so much meat in his words that we can so easily just skim over because we have heard it before. But have you allowed the truth of the cross of Christ to sink into your heart? You see, there will come a day when all of humanity will stand before Christ and have to give an account for how they lived their lives. Sure, you have every right to spend your life working to get ahead, finding a significant other and building a family, going on vacations and achieving your dream home, saving for retirement and crossing things off your bucket list.
BUT THESE THINGS HAVE NO VALUE WHEN WE STAND BEFORE GOD!
There are billions of people heading towards eternity in hell and we act as though we are living in a video game. There is no do-over, people! We have but one life!
Only one life, 'twill soon be past.
Only what's done for Christ will last.
So is the practice of saying 'no' to things, even good things, a good idea?
If it brings glory to God, YOU BET IT IS!
In my own life I am growing horrible uncomfortable with the way I spend my time, my finances, and my talents. So much of it is in vain. So much of it reflects a heart that is living in an earthly kingdom and that is totally blind to the heavenly one I claim to be a citizen of.
Imagine what the church in the west could do if it spent as much money as it spends on vacations, cars, gadgets, houses, and clothing on the mission of God instead. On caring for the poor. On supporting missions and missionaries.
Have you thought about the possibility of God calling you to reach the lost in another part of the world? Or have you written it off as uncomfortable? Maybe you think you are in no place to serve God in that capacity because of your job, your family, or your lack of Bible knowledge. But should those things really be what holds us back?
I'll say it again
Only one life, 'twill soon be past
Only what's done for Christ will last.
How do you use your finances? How do you use your talents? How do you spend your time? How are you edifying the church? How are you telling others about the hope they can have in Christ? I am asking myself the same questions and finding I come up drastically short.
Lately I have been adopting the practice of self-denial for the sake of glorifying God and I am amazed at the way God has been moving in me.
I just came off of over 40 days of only eating fruits and vegetables in order to work on self control and only wearing sweat pants and three t-shirts in order to work on vanity. I don't say this to bring glory to me. I say it to encourage you all. I AM CHANGED! God re-wired my head. I loved the intimacy with God so much that I am beginning the next 'no.' This needs to become a regular practice in my life. Where are the things standing between me and God right now? How can I discipline myself to change those things right now? Even if the thing that gets between you and God is a 'good' thing, if it is stopping you from being who God wants you to be or causing you to sin, it is better to cut it off than for it to drag you into hell (Matthew 5:29-30).
I know that some people may view these words as condemning, but that is not my objective. I pray that these words bring Godly conviction through the Holy Spirit. Not just for you but for me. We are blind! We are so absorbed by the surrounding culture that we have made it theology! I need to wake up. We need to wake up.
“We misunderstand obedience for legalism and bondage. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. The day is still coming when you will regret and repent. Too late it will be over the debased life we spent for ourselves here. The world out there, they do not know Jesus. And our priority number one. Number one must be “Lord, I love you, and as a result of that I give ALL to touch the lost world!””
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Fishing for Freedom
I love fish. Many of you reading this know that my current hobby is
fishkeeping. I enjoy taking care of them, watching them grow and
change, and knowing that they rely on me to sustain them, whether
they're aware of it or not.
I have recently been reflecting on something I heard about fish while I was living in Ecuador.
Fish were made to live in water.
It sounds pretty obvious, I know. But the amazing thing is that there are times that my fish do not seem to understand this fact. I have lost several fish over the years because they jumped to their deaths. They sought freedom from the tank they were in, and in doing so they wound up dead.
It is as if my fish long for something that can only really be found by remaining in their apparent “slavery.” Sure, they can prove their rejection of the tank they have been enclosed in by jumping out. They may even enjoy the leap through the air and their first few flops on the dry ground they have so longed for. But after a short time they will realize the error of their ways and pay the consequences for it.
Now this is not how the story ends every time. I have, more than once found a fish still alive and writhing on the floor (and once in one of my dresser drawers). This is where the fish faces its next choice. It can either let me pick it up and put it back in the tank, or it can flop around, trying desperately to keep out of my grips. Those who succumb easily are placed back into the tank quickly and allowed to rest easy knowing that today will not be their last. But the fish that writhes and flops does nothing more than seal their fate. Eventually they tire and stop fighting and I am able to pick them up and try to get them back into their home. These fish are often dropped back into the tank motionless and upside down. They sink to the bottom and the other fish come and start picking at them. Sometimes they manage to right themselves and continue their lives of “confinement.” Other times it was too little to late. They are too tired for their gills to function again. The other fish pick at them a little too much, and their final taste of freedom is a ride on the porcelain express.
I think you know where I am going with this.
As fish can long to find freedom from their tank, we long to find freedom away from God. We ignore what the Bible teaches about purity and obedience because “we've been saved by grace!” But Paul says in Romans 6:15, “What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means!"
Don't misunderstand me. I certainly do not believe that it is our obedience that saves us. The gift of forgiveness is free and cannot be earned. But if we think that God's forgiveness has set us “free” we are mistaken. Paul goes on to say in Romans 6 that we are no longer slaves to sin, but slaves to righteousness. That is, we are slaves to doing what is right and proving through our obedience that we really believe that God is who he says he is.
We choose to remain in the confines of the holy life God wants for us because we have learned that like the fish, we need water to live. We can choose to run from God all we want, but that lifestyle only leads to death. God designed us to flourish by living within the confines of obedience to him. True life comes when we relinquish our desire for pseudo-freedom and submit to the will of God because we know that life is only found in him.
When we make the mistake of jumping out of the tank we can humbly allow God to bring us back to obedience, or we can fight him to the bitter end. Perhaps when we finally are so tired of fighting that we just can't fight anymore we will finally allow God to take us back. But some will fight him until death has taken them, and the freedom they so desperately sought will perhaps not seem so worth it.
“Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves to the one you obey – whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.”
Romans 6:16-18 (NIV)
 |
| Some of my cichlids |
I have recently been reflecting on something I heard about fish while I was living in Ecuador.
Fish were made to live in water.
It sounds pretty obvious, I know. But the amazing thing is that there are times that my fish do not seem to understand this fact. I have lost several fish over the years because they jumped to their deaths. They sought freedom from the tank they were in, and in doing so they wound up dead.
It is as if my fish long for something that can only really be found by remaining in their apparent “slavery.” Sure, they can prove their rejection of the tank they have been enclosed in by jumping out. They may even enjoy the leap through the air and their first few flops on the dry ground they have so longed for. But after a short time they will realize the error of their ways and pay the consequences for it.
Now this is not how the story ends every time. I have, more than once found a fish still alive and writhing on the floor (and once in one of my dresser drawers). This is where the fish faces its next choice. It can either let me pick it up and put it back in the tank, or it can flop around, trying desperately to keep out of my grips. Those who succumb easily are placed back into the tank quickly and allowed to rest easy knowing that today will not be their last. But the fish that writhes and flops does nothing more than seal their fate. Eventually they tire and stop fighting and I am able to pick them up and try to get them back into their home. These fish are often dropped back into the tank motionless and upside down. They sink to the bottom and the other fish come and start picking at them. Sometimes they manage to right themselves and continue their lives of “confinement.” Other times it was too little to late. They are too tired for their gills to function again. The other fish pick at them a little too much, and their final taste of freedom is a ride on the porcelain express.
I think you know where I am going with this.
As fish can long to find freedom from their tank, we long to find freedom away from God. We ignore what the Bible teaches about purity and obedience because “we've been saved by grace!” But Paul says in Romans 6:15, “What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means!"
Don't misunderstand me. I certainly do not believe that it is our obedience that saves us. The gift of forgiveness is free and cannot be earned. But if we think that God's forgiveness has set us “free” we are mistaken. Paul goes on to say in Romans 6 that we are no longer slaves to sin, but slaves to righteousness. That is, we are slaves to doing what is right and proving through our obedience that we really believe that God is who he says he is.
We choose to remain in the confines of the holy life God wants for us because we have learned that like the fish, we need water to live. We can choose to run from God all we want, but that lifestyle only leads to death. God designed us to flourish by living within the confines of obedience to him. True life comes when we relinquish our desire for pseudo-freedom and submit to the will of God because we know that life is only found in him.
When we make the mistake of jumping out of the tank we can humbly allow God to bring us back to obedience, or we can fight him to the bitter end. Perhaps when we finally are so tired of fighting that we just can't fight anymore we will finally allow God to take us back. But some will fight him until death has taken them, and the freedom they so desperately sought will perhaps not seem so worth it.
“Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves to the one you obey – whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.”
Romans 6:16-18 (NIV)
Friday, 14 February 2014
Stop Feeling Sorry for the Single Guy
I've had this idea for a blog kicking around in my brain for the
last few months. Being Valentines Day, I thought it prudent to
actually put it down on paper so to speak before the day is up.
I have never actually been in a romantic relationship. I have never had a girlfriend. I have never kissed a girl (for real). I have only ONCE asked a girl out. And then I got scared after a couple of months of dates and ended it.
After wanting to get married almost my entire life I felt like a failure. But it was okay because many of my other friends were single too. My twin brother was single. There was no pressure.
Back when God changed the course of my life by convicting me of the spiritual need of many around the world who have not heard about Jesus, I dropped out of my Science program and UFV and began attending Columbia Bible College in an effort to know more about the Bible in preparation to teach it in the field.
I remember with horror the day I spoke with my grandparents about my switch in education. My grandfather believed that marriage was intended for basically all Christians (with the exception of a few whose 'gift' it was to stay single) and he believed that one should never pursue missions work as a career goal. He informed me that I could consider some short term missions work once I had established myself in a good career and a solid marriage. I made the mistake of saying in passing, “but what if I never get married?” “He that hath a wife hath a good thing!” was his response.
That night I laid in bed and promised God that I would never put anything, even something as good as marriage, before doing what God leads me to do. No matter what I was willing to sacrifice it.
Over the next few years God had me sacrifice many things for the sake of following His lead, and one of those things was relationships. I can recall several times when the Holy Spirit specifically lead me away from getting involved with a woman for the sake of completing the task at hand or for the sake of starting a new task.
So now I am 26 and it is not as easy to hide just how single I am. Many of my friends are in serious relationships. Some have babies already. My twin brother has tied the knot. And now it seems that everyone wants to set me up with someone more than ever.
But my heart has changed regarding marriage. While I still see it as good and as something I would love to experience, I also see so much value in being single. I can serve God in an uninhibited way, I won't have the financial strain. I will never have to worry about splitting my time between my family and my work. God is more free to use me however He chooses, and because of the way God has been transforming my mind over the past few years, I see so much more value in this than I used to.
So to the well-meaning people out there who insist that I will get married, that God FOR SURE has someone for me, and who try to set me up with any and every girl they have ever met or heard of who has been involved in or would like to be involved in any sort of missionary work I say this. Please stop treating me like a pathetic lonely single person who is missing out on life and an amazing future because I am not married. When I say that I might never get married, don't respond in pity and say, “Oh, you will!” Because I am not saying that I may never get married because I feel sorry for myself. I am saying it because it is something I find great value in that the Holy Spirit has been empowering me more and more to accept, not begrudgingly, but with great joy!
Marriage is a gift from God! A beautiful thing. But singleness is not the opposite. If marriage is a Van Gogh, singleness is a Rembrandt. Just a different kind of beauty.
I have never actually been in a romantic relationship. I have never had a girlfriend. I have never kissed a girl (for real). I have only ONCE asked a girl out. And then I got scared after a couple of months of dates and ended it.
After wanting to get married almost my entire life I felt like a failure. But it was okay because many of my other friends were single too. My twin brother was single. There was no pressure.
Back when God changed the course of my life by convicting me of the spiritual need of many around the world who have not heard about Jesus, I dropped out of my Science program and UFV and began attending Columbia Bible College in an effort to know more about the Bible in preparation to teach it in the field.
I remember with horror the day I spoke with my grandparents about my switch in education. My grandfather believed that marriage was intended for basically all Christians (with the exception of a few whose 'gift' it was to stay single) and he believed that one should never pursue missions work as a career goal. He informed me that I could consider some short term missions work once I had established myself in a good career and a solid marriage. I made the mistake of saying in passing, “but what if I never get married?” “He that hath a wife hath a good thing!” was his response.
That night I laid in bed and promised God that I would never put anything, even something as good as marriage, before doing what God leads me to do. No matter what I was willing to sacrifice it.
Over the next few years God had me sacrifice many things for the sake of following His lead, and one of those things was relationships. I can recall several times when the Holy Spirit specifically lead me away from getting involved with a woman for the sake of completing the task at hand or for the sake of starting a new task.
So now I am 26 and it is not as easy to hide just how single I am. Many of my friends are in serious relationships. Some have babies already. My twin brother has tied the knot. And now it seems that everyone wants to set me up with someone more than ever.
But my heart has changed regarding marriage. While I still see it as good and as something I would love to experience, I also see so much value in being single. I can serve God in an uninhibited way, I won't have the financial strain. I will never have to worry about splitting my time between my family and my work. God is more free to use me however He chooses, and because of the way God has been transforming my mind over the past few years, I see so much more value in this than I used to.
So to the well-meaning people out there who insist that I will get married, that God FOR SURE has someone for me, and who try to set me up with any and every girl they have ever met or heard of who has been involved in or would like to be involved in any sort of missionary work I say this. Please stop treating me like a pathetic lonely single person who is missing out on life and an amazing future because I am not married. When I say that I might never get married, don't respond in pity and say, “Oh, you will!” Because I am not saying that I may never get married because I feel sorry for myself. I am saying it because it is something I find great value in that the Holy Spirit has been empowering me more and more to accept, not begrudgingly, but with great joy!
Marriage is a gift from God! A beautiful thing. But singleness is not the opposite. If marriage is a Van Gogh, singleness is a Rembrandt. Just a different kind of beauty.
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Where my Treasure is...
Over the past few years I have been challenged deeply to examine
my faith and ask, is what I currently believe and live what faith in
Christ is supposed to be like?
I have come to one overwhelmingly clear answer.
NO!
While many things are not specifically spoken about in the Bible, one thing is clear; my faith in Christ needs to be all-consuming. Not just a belief system, but a way of life that is totally evidenced in who I am and how I live. My attitudes, my actions, my words, my habits, my spending, my relationships. All of these are to scream that I believe that not only did Christ come and die to ransom me from sin, but to start His work in me RIGHT NOW.
My life, due to my relationship with God, needs to look so different from the people around me that the world looks at me and thinks I am crazy.
But I don't think that is popular teaching in the church.
I think that we (yes, I am TOTALLY including myself in this) make so many excuses daily for the things we do and the people we are. Our culture has so infiltrated our way of thinking that we have grown to accept not looking or living like Christ. We even try to use the Bible to justify it.
I ask myself if I spend my money appropriately.
I ask myself why I am okay gossiping.
I ask myself why I am so self-absorbed and self-glorifying.
Then I ask myself why I don't do something to change these things. And I realize something. I don't change because I am stuck in my head. I think too much and rarely apply. Of course, thinking about these things does have some affect on how I live over time, but I think that this is where the church needs to step in.
We are so scared that we are going to offend people that we forsake discipleship on tough issues such as spending habits and narcissism. And to be honest, it is the way we as a church spend our money that sits least well with me.
I hear the whole 10% thing preached fairly regularly and think, “yeah, that sounds obtainable.”
But is that even Biblical? Did you know that 10% is never even mentioned in the New Testament? And when I read the New Testament I see Jesus asking for ALL of me. Not just 10%. Mark 12:41-43 speaks of many rich people giving away large amounts of money while a widow gives all she has, two small coins, and it is her gift that is called great. Another man asks how to get eternal life in Matthew 19. Jesus tells him to sell all of his possessions, and he goes away sad. I wonder how many of us would truly be willing to sell everything we have for the sake of the kingdom. I wonder if we find enough value in the kingdom to truly be willing to do it. What's sad is that not only am I very reluctant to do something so extreme, I am reluctant to even forgo SOME, just a portion, of my luxury spending for the sake of the Kingdom.
I have a friend who was a sponsored child through Compassion International in Ecuador and who is quick to speak of the difference that made in his life. He found Christ because of his sponsor. And that only costs $40 a month to do! What if we were to give up eating out, buying new clothes, getting coffee, and going to the movies? What if we stopped buying stuff and bought into the kingdom?
I am at a place where I am wondering if I should abandon all luxury spending and use that money instead to invest in the kingdom of God. And to be honest, I am not in a place right now in my walk with Christ where I am willing to do that. There are things I want to buy. They feed something selfish in me. And I am getting more and more uncomfortable with it. And I pray that I will get more uncomfortable with it.
I have come to one overwhelmingly clear answer.
NO!
While many things are not specifically spoken about in the Bible, one thing is clear; my faith in Christ needs to be all-consuming. Not just a belief system, but a way of life that is totally evidenced in who I am and how I live. My attitudes, my actions, my words, my habits, my spending, my relationships. All of these are to scream that I believe that not only did Christ come and die to ransom me from sin, but to start His work in me RIGHT NOW.
My life, due to my relationship with God, needs to look so different from the people around me that the world looks at me and thinks I am crazy.
But I don't think that is popular teaching in the church.
I think that we (yes, I am TOTALLY including myself in this) make so many excuses daily for the things we do and the people we are. Our culture has so infiltrated our way of thinking that we have grown to accept not looking or living like Christ. We even try to use the Bible to justify it.
I ask myself if I spend my money appropriately.
I ask myself why I am okay gossiping.
I ask myself why I am so self-absorbed and self-glorifying.
Then I ask myself why I don't do something to change these things. And I realize something. I don't change because I am stuck in my head. I think too much and rarely apply. Of course, thinking about these things does have some affect on how I live over time, but I think that this is where the church needs to step in.
We are so scared that we are going to offend people that we forsake discipleship on tough issues such as spending habits and narcissism. And to be honest, it is the way we as a church spend our money that sits least well with me.
I hear the whole 10% thing preached fairly regularly and think, “yeah, that sounds obtainable.”
But is that even Biblical? Did you know that 10% is never even mentioned in the New Testament? And when I read the New Testament I see Jesus asking for ALL of me. Not just 10%. Mark 12:41-43 speaks of many rich people giving away large amounts of money while a widow gives all she has, two small coins, and it is her gift that is called great. Another man asks how to get eternal life in Matthew 19. Jesus tells him to sell all of his possessions, and he goes away sad. I wonder how many of us would truly be willing to sell everything we have for the sake of the kingdom. I wonder if we find enough value in the kingdom to truly be willing to do it. What's sad is that not only am I very reluctant to do something so extreme, I am reluctant to even forgo SOME, just a portion, of my luxury spending for the sake of the Kingdom.
I have a friend who was a sponsored child through Compassion International in Ecuador and who is quick to speak of the difference that made in his life. He found Christ because of his sponsor. And that only costs $40 a month to do! What if we were to give up eating out, buying new clothes, getting coffee, and going to the movies? What if we stopped buying stuff and bought into the kingdom?
I am at a place where I am wondering if I should abandon all luxury spending and use that money instead to invest in the kingdom of God. And to be honest, I am not in a place right now in my walk with Christ where I am willing to do that. There are things I want to buy. They feed something selfish in me. And I am getting more and more uncomfortable with it. And I pray that I will get more uncomfortable with it.
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